Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
