Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
try to milk me bitch
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