I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
