Well apparently he's into motor boating.
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
