Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
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