Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
ttyl tear gas
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
