so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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