he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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