worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize