just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
