come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
