dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
