awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
