but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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