I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Randomize
