PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize