It's Friday. Sex?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
