Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize