Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
