my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
