hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize