I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Randomize
