we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
