Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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