did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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