I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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