i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
i think we sleep fucked last night...
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
