i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
