You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
