My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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