all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
ok first of all what the fuck
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
