he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
