In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
