for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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