Kiss
Puke
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
