Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
my poor anus
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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