My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
