new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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