Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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