mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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