She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
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