Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
