the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
