Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
