She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
