Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Randomize
