Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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