booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
