I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
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