On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
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