are you so shy because you have an std?
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
