woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize