Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
