East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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