Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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