she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Are we still banned from the library?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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