I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Randomize
